This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
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