At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Randomize
