im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
