I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
