Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
