so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.