Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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