Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
