taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
