i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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