I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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