do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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