i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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