it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
