we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
