Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
