I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
