Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
