Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
