My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
