awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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