I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
