sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Randomize
