He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
