absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
