im drinking this country out of the recession.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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