Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
