Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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