i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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