drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Sorry about my life...
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
