I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize