dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
