Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌ðŸ»ï¸
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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