even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
