i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I can't turn off my feet"
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
