My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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