I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
