Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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