you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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