I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
