I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
