Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore

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(850): View more from Florida

And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.

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(519): View more from Ontario

I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.

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(801): View more from Utah

If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.

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(317): View more from Indiana

You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.

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(713): View more from Texas

Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e

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