Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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