Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
