you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
