She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
