I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
We left an ass print on the piano.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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