If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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