My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
