You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
