There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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