Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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