I hate your face
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize