She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
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I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
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they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
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