Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Randomize
