i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
