I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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