i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
