At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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