It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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