I'm drive I can fine osifer
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
