dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
