Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
