That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
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