lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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