I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
