Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
