better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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