I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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