I could make wine with my vomit
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
This baby is an asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize